Fun Times At The Zoo
by alyssialui
Summary: James takes Sirius to the local muggle zoo. Now a two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: James takes Sirius to the local muggle zoo. RxR. FxF._

_Submission for:_

**Hogwarts Casino 2014 Challenge/Competition****: **Comedy Club

**Hogwarts Fair 2014 Challenge/Competition****: **Refreshments

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

* * *

Sirius was bored. So bored, he had convinced James to take him to the zoo. They walked among all the animal cages and saw lions and tigers and bears. And still Sirius was bored.

"I thought muggle animals would be more interesting," Sirius said running his hands through his wet hair. They had been walking through this stupid place in the hot sun for the past hour.

James just shrugged and then handed his water bottle to Sirius. "They are, well I think so, but I guess you're just used to more exciting things, Padfoot."

"Like hippogriffs and dragons," Sirius said with large smile as he took a swig of water and took a seat on a nearby ledge. "What animals do we have left to look at?"

James pulled out the small map the girl at the ticket counter had given him. Sirius had tried flirting with her, hoping to get a discount on their entry, but she wasn't having any of it. Sirius had called her a tomboy behind her back, because 'that's the only reason she wouldn't have fallen for my charm.'

James held it out, trying to orientate himself with the compass in the top right corner. He spun to the left, then the right, then 180 degrees, but was still lost.

Sirius reached out and snatched the map from James' hands, "Thank god you're not our Seeker. You suck at finding things from the ground."

James laughed and took a seat on the ledge beside the shaggy haired boy. He took the water bottle back and took a sip, "I'm sure if I had a broom I could tell you exactly where we are."

Sirius rolled his eyes and then held the map out between them. "We're here by this little gift shop. If we take this path, we'll end up at the zebra habitat," Sirius said tracing the lines on the paper.

James nodded and they rose from the ledge and continued on the path. They walked up and joined the crowd up people all listening to a short blonde girl who stood before the boundary.

"Now, here we have the African Zebra. No two zebras have the same striped pattern. And a fun question people often ask is if the zebra is white with black stripes, or black with white stripes. Personally I think it's white with black stripes, since most of its face is white," the guide told the group of persons surrounding the zebra pen.

The guide moved off, taking the crowd with her. James tugged on Sirius' arm, "Come on, Padfoot. Let's follow the tour."

But Sirius just shook his head with a gleam in his eye. James stopped and then looked around before asking, "What madness has your mind thought of now?"

Sirius just grinned and then whispered into James' ear.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" James asked with wide eyes. Sirius had told him the plan but he didn't think they'd actually get this far.

Somehow, Sirius had gotten the girl in charge of the pens to let him into the zebra habitat for a 'private viewing'. James stood awkwardly by as Sirius snogged the daylights out of the girl while stealing her keys. When the girl walked off to check on a different exhibit, her eyes still glazed over, Sirius quickly turned around and opened the zebra pen.

"Yes, James! This will be fun. Way better than the boringness we've been going through so far," Sirius said as he walked close to one of the animals.

He pet the animal slowly while climbing onto its back. It was surprisingly tame, though James said it was because they had been technically domesticated by the zoo.

Sirius extended his hand down to his friend, "Would you like to ride a unicorn into the sunset with me?"

James rolled his eyes and said plainly, "It's a zebra."

Sirius shrugged, "Close enough." He pulled James up and then goaded the zebra to run forward.

They trotted around the enclosure, drawing the attention of the muggles who pointed down at them. Sirius smiled at his adoring public while James' hid behind his hands. Normally he would like the attention, but if his mother ever heard what they had done, she'd have his hide.

"Hey! You're not supposed to be in there!" a loud voice called from beyond the boundary. A security guard had seen them. His shout startled the zebra who ran to the back of the enclosure and away from the guard.

The boys jumped off. "What do we do?" James asked.

"Hold on," Sirius said as he thought and then he smiled. He stood before James and shifted into his animagus form. James grinned before following suit.

The door to the enclosure opened and the guard entered with the girl from before who looked very nervous. While they searched the enclosure for two boys, a large black dog and a stag quickly slipped out behind them, the keys tossed onto the floor by the door.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: The boys make a quick getaway. Decided to add one more fun chapter for a competition._

_Submission for:_

_**Return of the Daily Weird Prompt Thing [Speed-writing Competition]: **"And no one knows where the koala came from, but it seems to really like Sirius."_

* * *

The young men snickered as they ran through the crowd. They had to get as far away from the zebra enclosure as possible. It would only take a matter of time before they interrogated the girl Sirius snogged for the key and they didn't want to be there when she identified them.

"You possibly lost that girl her job, Sirius," James said when they finally stopped, returning to the gift shop they had passed a few minutes ago.

Sirius was breathing a bit hard, not used to the sudden exertion like James was. "I didn't... mean to... This was... just supposed... to be fun!"

James groaned and then looked around him. "No use worrying about it now," he said. "Let's just get out of the zoo before the security catch up to us."

The two boys were about to leave the small store when Sirius turned to look at a shelf of stuffed baby bears.

"Can I get one of these koa-la bears?" Sirius asked as he read the name of the small tags.

James rolled his eyes and dug a hand into his pocket for the Muggle money. "Fine, but make it quick."

Sirius grinned, picking up one of the life-like bears and hugging his friend around the waist. They made their way to the checkout counter, Sirius practically skipping, and placed it before the clerk. "I'm getting a koa-la!" Sirius said to the disinterested clerk.

James chuckled at his friend's exuberance as he pulled the money out. "Don't mind him. He's-"

"Hey, you!" a voice shouted.

James and Sirius turned to see two blue-uniformed guards coming towards them. Sirius quickly grabbed the bear and James' hand and ran towards the side exit, ignoring the clerk's cry of "You need to pay for that!"

They pushed the startled Muggles out of their way as they made their way to the zoo exit. The guards were close behind, their shout getting louder and louder and Sirius started to panic. "I don't wanna go to Muggle jail!" he cried. James knew they wouldn't go to jail (probably) but he definitely didn't want his parents to find out about their crimes.

Unfortunately, Sirius wasn't watching where he was going. He knocked into a large Muggle, sending the pair sprawling to the ground. The koala bear flew out of Sirius' hand and into a nearby cage.

James ran up and tugged Sirius to his feet. "Get up! We're almost there!"

"No! Not yet! Not without my koala!" Sirius cried.

"There's no time!" James said.

Sirius quickly drew his wand and said, "Accio koala!"

The bear flew over the cage and back into Sirius' arms. "Okay, we can go now," he said, ignoring the confused and awe-struck Muggles around him as they continued towards the zoo exit.

* * *

That night, James and Sirius invited Remus and Peter over to share their adventure at the Muggle zoo. Their friends were hanging on the edge of their seats as they listened, though the reproachful look on Remus' face never left throughout the story.

"...And no one knows where the koala came from, but it seems to really like Sirius," James said, pointing the sleeping bear on Sirius' lap.

The large grey animal was still on the young man's legs, his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling slowly. "The spell must have grabbed him and not my koa-la," Sirius explained as he ran a hand over the animal. "I should have felt the difference. He's much heavier and warmer than a toy."

"Well. we were kind of running for our lives at the moment," James said, scratching the back of his neck.

"You have to take it back," Remus said.

"Why?" Sirius whined. "Why can't I keep him?"

"Moony's right, Padfoot," James said. "My mum won't like him here and we don't even know what it eats."

"I'll feed it chicken and pumpkin juice," Sirius said.

"The Muggles will put out searches for him and-" Remus began but Sirius shouted, "No! He's my new pet. I think I'll call him Beary."

"I think Beary had an accident" Peter said as he pointed at the animal.

Sirius felt the warm liquid soaking his pants as the puddle grew larger. "We have to take it back," he said.


End file.
